As new authors we tend to overthink our writing. We want to be “real” writers, so we overthink our prose and overuse words in an attempt to make it more “poetic”.
Save that shit for poetry!
With that said here are some types of words that you should axe from your manuscript. (Again, not in ALL cases, just in general.) with examples.
As always you can see the video version of this blog post here:
Note: This does not apply to dialogue. Only description or narration. Dialogue should be realistic. So use whatever fits the character.
Lets start with an easy one.
1. Filler Words – That
The word that is generally unnecessary. For example:
The horse that he rode was black.
Why not just cut it?
The horse he rode was black.
Or reverse it with the verb first.
He rode a black horse.
2. Limiting Modifiers – A limiting modifier limits the meaning of another word in the sentence, usually the word immediately following it. These are typically adverbs. Words like:
- Simply
- Almost
- Hardly
- Nearly
- Just
- At first
For an example using a character name from my novel The Crimson Gods:
Ashaya just didn’t know what to say.
This would be fine in dialogue if someone were talking about her. People don’t speak in proper English. Prose should be. So just axe it.
Ashaya didn’t know what to say.
Now what should be done here is show us that she didn’t know what to say, but sometimes telling is perfectly fine. I have an entire video on showing vs. telling here.
3. Redundant adverbs – An adverb is redundant if you use it to modify a verb with the same meaning in its definition. Examples:
- Clearly
- Certainly
- Literally
- Basically
- Actually
Cleary she was upset.
Now if you need to tell here just go with:
She was upset.
Better yet, show us she’s upset, so that is already clear.)
Ashaya threw the chair through the window.
Or:
Ashaya sat covering her eyes, tears lept from her chin.
Cut it these and show us!
3. More adverbs – That try to enhance the action, basically worthless!
He ran really fast to get to work on time.
We already know that running is fast.
He ran to get to work on time.
or better yet, to indicate more of a desperate rush, change the verb:
He sprinted to to get to work on time.
4. Even more Adverbs – I am not just picking on adverbs, they do have their place. But generally stay away from how adverbs and show us.
- Quietly
- Slowly
- Quickly
- Carefully
- Suddenly
Ashaya walked into her quarters quietly.
Again, change the verb here and show us:
Ashaya tiptoed into her quarters.
We know if someone is tiptoeing, they are trying to be quiet!
5. More Filter Words – These filter what’s happening to the character through the reader. In other words, they remind the reader that they are reading. Let them experience what is happening.
Ashaya could see the birds flying from tree to tree.
No, show us. Using see here pulls the reader out of the moment. Let them experience it.
Birds flew from tree to tree.
Filter words remind the reader that they are reading. Let them experience what is happening.
6. Dialogue tags (overused)
- Whispered
- Growled
- Yelled
- Snapped
Use these in specific situations, otherwise said and asked are perfectly fine (but don’t overuse those either), and become invisible to the reader. Also depending on the scene, dialogue tags don’t have to be used at all.
“Be careful old friend,” Amari whispered.
Nothing really wrong with this, but we need context. Just go with:
“Be careful old friend,” Amari said.
If we have some context that requires a whisper, it might look something like this:
“Stay quiet and keep your head down old friend,” Amari whispered.
Or show some description or an action before the dialogue.
Amari turned to him. “Be careful old friend.”
Here is an example with no tags at all. None needed if the flow of the conversation is established.
He turned and pulled the rusty iron handle to open the door and found Clara standing there with her fist in the air. “Damn, you startled me!”
“Apologies my lord, but your father wants to see you and I brought your—”
“Yes, I will see him after I have a shit!” he stomped past her.
“Yes, of course my…” she responded, but he was already gone. She looked around and angrily threw his hairbrush on the floor.
And there you have it, just a few of the many words you may want to stay away from. Again, these are not hard and fast rules, just suggestions that will help keep readers engaged with your story.
Whatever you do, keep writing!
~Chris
